Crucifixion Poem from February

This is a poem I wrote in mid February 2008.

Is this the pain of crucifixion that I feel ?
It hurts so much – it has to be real.
Fighting on the cross, the wood tears in my arms,
Is self so bad, did it do this much harm?
I cry so hard and fight to be free-
“I will be better – I promise to be!!”

I can see the scene as plain as can be
My Father, the Spirit, my Savior and me.
Standing by the Father I look down on the beams,
The sands of my life are not as they seem.
All were facades, ghostly images of sin,
The lives I destroyed; the places I’ve been;
The souls that I hurt, the damages done,
Though sin seemed it once, it no longer feels fun.
My “self” crying in agony – begging for grace,
My Father turning to me with hope on His face.

He spoke to me as I watched Him through tears
“This has been coming, building for years,
I feel your pain – I understand your fears.
Be easy my son – this is my grace:
Have faith in me - my love brought you to this place.
Forgiveness of sin you have felt this cross bring,
Still this cross is meant to do yet another thing.
The sin you enjoy, the death that it brings
Can only be ended when Self dies on this thing.
Fix your eyes upon me – please do not look away
I promise you son – This is your resurrection day.”