Accountable to Accountability

I have learned so much in the last 18 months. Yes it has been 18 months since I began the process of learning to walk in full transparency. Haven't arrived, haven't met ANYONE who is. Yet some do strive to the mark.
Fortunately I have learned as God has revealed my narrow minded religion and legalistic views of most things. When I moved in with my friend Patrick he told me I was holding onto a lot of legalism. Now Patrick is what many would consider charismatic so I assumed he was speaking about spiritual gifts and our "differances of biblical interpretation". Since I could not agree with him that I was legalistic I defended peoples right to dress casually at church, wear long hair, and have tattoos (even got one while living there). Of course he said I was missing it, but to be patient because God would reveal these areas to me.
He was right.
To name a few: love, grace, accountability, discipleship, service to the Lord, who is wicked and who is righteous, and the list goes on.
I thought I knew so much a couple of years ago. God revealed that my intellectual knowledge of scripture, ability to quote a few verses, an understanding of the discipleship process (or so I thought), and the other things were just shallow. I mean shallow. I MEAN SHALLOW. So shallow that I have had to ask forgiveness for a lot of things and pray for other people stuck in that same situation. I thought I had a handle on ministry - thought I knew what it was.
Example: Recently some Christian friends of mine went to visit a "fallen" brother in rehab and without anything to really talk about asked him this question: "So what are you reading??" I would have asked that once before..... Now my heart is heavy over those very things and I wonder "Is that ministry??" We go to a "fallen" brother and all we can ask this one who is in the battle to overcome an addiction is "So, what are you reading??" I wonder if Jesus ever asked the harlots "So, what scroll are you reading from???"
Just don't see that as ministry. I have learned that ministry is restoring sight to the blind, setting captives free, giving hope to the hopeless, preaching the GREAT love of God. Encouragement is simple - love people as they are - no if/then requirements (those really turn my stomach, prayed for forgiveness for a lot of those!!!), share with them the vision of God for the redeemed - for THEM. Then offering ourselves as a partner to that person - a servant in reality.
To learn about ministry I have had to learn true accountability. By that I mean we are accountable to those we hold accountable. The pendulum swings wild on this. I have seen places with no accountability and souls wallow overcome in sin longer than they would have to (or so I think, God knows), and have had the displeasure of seeing it become lordship (prayed for forgiveness for that too because of my abuse of accountability).
I recently attended a service at a small cowboy church and received the greatest message and illustration on accountability that just blew me away. To sum it up the pastor got out clippers and cut the shaggy hair that was touching his ears - the problems he knew about "the problems he could feel (sense)" he looked plain bad like that - a really wide Mohawk. Then he began talking about the pictures of God's word as a mirror. He "saw" how bad he looked in that mirror (held a real one on his bible) and saw that though he got what he knew was wrong in his first effort their remained much he did not know was wrong, With the aid of the mirror he was able to cut off all he could SEE. This left him burred down on the front, top and sides. All he could see. Couldn't see the back so he didn't know to cut it. He looked really wild now. Next he took us to these verses:
Ecc 4:9 Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.
Ecc 4:10 For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.
Ecc 4:11 Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?
Ecc 4:12 And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
As he shared these verses he called his wife up, sat down in front of her, and passing the clippers to her allowed her to do what he could not - work on the mess he could not see. Not only did she clip the back he had not touched she fixed up the parts he tried to do all alone.
Accountability is lovingly helping others do what they CANNOT do for themselves.
She did not demand the right to fix anything because of the mess he had made, never promoted herself, never demanded the right to because of relationship. She simply came when called, he looked better because of it. She never opened her mouth to tell him he was crazy for doing what he needed her for, she never complained, nor did she ask for anything in return. No promises to do better were given by him, none were required by her.
Many said and continue to say that I fled accountability. That instead of coming clean to them I chose to run and will remain outside of God's will until they believe my repentance and forgive me. I am wrong until they get right????
What I sought was true accountability and have found it. God has surrounded me with men who know me and ALL my sins against God, know themselves, and we have partnered together to do for the one what the other cannot.
God has blessed me with accountability and He uses it greatly in my life. He has this for all of us. If you are struggling with sins and hurts that you seem hopeless to overcome and receive true repentance from the Lord for PLEASE do not give up. Seek the Lord continually and stay humble. If you could overcome it alone you wouldnt be overcome by it would you? God will bless the humble, repentance is a gift from God, not something you can do on your own. God will give it to you - that is His desire. Seek accountablity. Seek love. Seek the Lord, His righteousness and His kingdom.

My heart breaks for those with no true accountability, and for those administering wrong accountability. As it says in those verses we need someone to care for us in times of trouble, defend us from the enemies, minister to us in the deep cold nights of addictions, and give their strenght to make us stronger.
We do not need demands, ultimatums, or to be forgotten and neglected.
We do not need to be asked questions about our curent reading selections, or the lesson we have learned from our sinful desires, or to be forced into detailed accounts of the sins.
We need people to love us completly, answer our calls, return our emails, and come along side us. We do not need put out, put down, or put away.
We need prayed for, held, up, and spoke to.

I have repented of the terrible accountability practices I engaged in and propogated in legalistic foolishness. I blew it, I hurt people, I sinned against God.
I am encouraged as God uses my testimony to help others come into true transparency and begin seeing the light of acoountablity.

Accountability has changed my life - it will change yours also.

Growing in Grace,
Shane

Grace is amazing - beyond our comprehension. We seldom receive real grace from others and even less often give it. We humans operate in sinful ways that usually makes it impossible for us to totally and completely give grace to others though we demand it for ourselves. I hate to admit it but I can be selfish. I can be egotistical, demanding, petty, controlling.... ok you get the picture.
Rom 7:18 For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it.
Rom 7:19 For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do.
Even when I do good to others often their is a root of selfishness. Sometimes I want others to see me and say "Wow, now thats a great guy!" or for that feeling of self gratification that leads me to say "Wow, you really area great guy!!!" And here is the amazing thing - God always tells me the root of my motives - is it grace or self when I give others what they do not deserve. What would our lives be like if God had no grace. If He forgave us and blessed us based of our own merits - what we deserve???
Allow my to ask the question directly to you: How would your life be differant if you never received grace from God? Allow my to explain a little about Grace before you answer that question. Grace is so often confused with mercy that most of us do not know the real meaning of it or how it works and impacts our everyday life.
Mercy defined very simply is not getting what you DESERVE. An illustration: You go to court and plead guilty to the crime you are accused of then beg for mercy because the punishment is greater than you can handle. So because of your honesty and sincere pleading the judge says "I agree that you are guilty and the law says that you deserve 5 to 50 years in prison for your crime. However I will show mercy to you and sentence you to only 5 years." Now that is mercy. That just judge could have sent you to prison for 50 years, but he did not. He excercised his right as a fair judge and gave you the minimum that he could and be just to the law and the people he swore to serve as judge. He had to give you something and mercy moved him to give you the minimum.
Grace operates differantly. Grace is simple: You get what you do not deserve. Another way to think of it is "Unmerited favor".So to illustrate grace: It is the first of the month and the rent is due. You partied all month and blew the rent money. The landlord comes over to collect and you have to tell him you cant pay. So you offer to pay $100 a week every week to make up the rent money if he will just let you stay. The landlord says "I did that once when I was your age - partied up all my money. You know what, dont worry about it - you dont have to pay any rent for last month." You asked for mercy - "let me pay it out". It was a plea for mercy because you knew he could kick you out. What you received was grace. He said " Dont worry about it". The lanlord could have and maybe should have kicked you out. A mercyful landlord would have let you pay it out. But this landlord had grace - he let you stay and forgot the rent you owed him. He just let you make it.
We see the same thing in the story of the prodigal son in the Bible. The son demanded his inheritence, blew off a cultural and moral responcibility to his father, partied it up, almost starved - then went crawling back hoping for mercy and a job as a slave. The father saw the son, ran to meet him and gave him grace - he restored the son to his place as a son. No prabationary period, no "This is the last time" speeches, no cold shoulder of disapproval and rejection. None of the things we do to each other other. The father knew this was going to happen. He didnt hope his son would mess up, but experience told him that his son would.

So..... Your life with out God's grace would look like this:
No hope because the Soveriegn God does nothing to help you out of the trouble your lies and game playing gets you into. Also no jobs you didnt really deserve on your own abilities and each time you messed around at work you got caught and fired. No God to give you the peace and hope you need to move on with your life when trajedy happens. You remeber trajedy... The day you lost a love one to death, or the day you received a diagnosis that changed your life, the day your friends lie to you, how about the day your family rejected you because of your bad choices. And then at the end of this amazingly terrible life - at the end of it all God sends you to hell because you get what you deserve. The bible says the wages (payment) for sin is death (total seperation). Our sins seperated us from God, and will seperate us from the people and things we love. The wage is always death - it is a law (rule). God can forgive us of our sins because in His unmerited favor - grace. He sent His Son to live the life we couldn't, to pay the debt of death that was too much for us to pay, and to give us eternal life with Him that we do not deserve. I hope that you have received this grace by putting your entire faith (belief that leads to your surrender) in Him. His grace keeps us going everyday. Everyday God gives us the things we dont deserve: Love, friends, jobs, and forgiveness from others when we absolutly blow it. The bible says that where sin abounds grace abounds much more. When you do wrong to others (your boss, your friend, your family) isnt grace what you need? A new start where that mistake doesnt remove the people you love?? And how about the grace the lady received when she touched the hem of Jesus' garment - He called it power. It chabged her life.
Do you give the grace that God gave you?? Are you holding a grudge for something done to you?? Have you gone so far as to turn your back on someone because of how they treated you or something they did to you??? Does God hold grudges and kick you out because you sin against Him?? Absolutly not. Giving grace does not mean that what has happened is OK, or that it didnt hurt you, or that you deserved it. It means that you choose to give what the person does not deserve.

I have sooo much to learn about Grace and how to really give it as God continually gives it to me. I want to be a grace fountain. God has given me a beautiful lady of grace. She knows my past but gave grace (she doesnt judge me by it) and gives grace everyday even in the midst of all the selfcentered stuff I mentioned above. Stephanie teaches me everyday about the grace of God.
I hope you will join me in the power of God's amazing grace. If you have refused to give grace (as I find I have and do) to someone in your life that you will confess that sin to God (it is a sin to judge others and refuse forgiveness) and as soon as possible give them the gift of grace by forgiving them and starting fresh. You may believe they deserve to get the boot, but dont we all sometimes and Praise God He doesnt boot us out and praise God for people who love us dont either.