Accountable to Accountability

I have learned so much in the last 18 months. Yes it has been 18 months since I began the process of learning to walk in full transparency. Haven't arrived, haven't met ANYONE who is. Yet some do strive to the mark.
Fortunately I have learned as God has revealed my narrow minded religion and legalistic views of most things. When I moved in with my friend Patrick he told me I was holding onto a lot of legalism. Now Patrick is what many would consider charismatic so I assumed he was speaking about spiritual gifts and our "differances of biblical interpretation". Since I could not agree with him that I was legalistic I defended peoples right to dress casually at church, wear long hair, and have tattoos (even got one while living there). Of course he said I was missing it, but to be patient because God would reveal these areas to me.
He was right.
To name a few: love, grace, accountability, discipleship, service to the Lord, who is wicked and who is righteous, and the list goes on.
I thought I knew so much a couple of years ago. God revealed that my intellectual knowledge of scripture, ability to quote a few verses, an understanding of the discipleship process (or so I thought), and the other things were just shallow. I mean shallow. I MEAN SHALLOW. So shallow that I have had to ask forgiveness for a lot of things and pray for other people stuck in that same situation. I thought I had a handle on ministry - thought I knew what it was.
Example: Recently some Christian friends of mine went to visit a "fallen" brother in rehab and without anything to really talk about asked him this question: "So what are you reading??" I would have asked that once before..... Now my heart is heavy over those very things and I wonder "Is that ministry??" We go to a "fallen" brother and all we can ask this one who is in the battle to overcome an addiction is "So, what are you reading??" I wonder if Jesus ever asked the harlots "So, what scroll are you reading from???"
Just don't see that as ministry. I have learned that ministry is restoring sight to the blind, setting captives free, giving hope to the hopeless, preaching the GREAT love of God. Encouragement is simple - love people as they are - no if/then requirements (those really turn my stomach, prayed for forgiveness for a lot of those!!!), share with them the vision of God for the redeemed - for THEM. Then offering ourselves as a partner to that person - a servant in reality.
To learn about ministry I have had to learn true accountability. By that I mean we are accountable to those we hold accountable. The pendulum swings wild on this. I have seen places with no accountability and souls wallow overcome in sin longer than they would have to (or so I think, God knows), and have had the displeasure of seeing it become lordship (prayed for forgiveness for that too because of my abuse of accountability).
I recently attended a service at a small cowboy church and received the greatest message and illustration on accountability that just blew me away. To sum it up the pastor got out clippers and cut the shaggy hair that was touching his ears - the problems he knew about "the problems he could feel (sense)" he looked plain bad like that - a really wide Mohawk. Then he began talking about the pictures of God's word as a mirror. He "saw" how bad he looked in that mirror (held a real one on his bible) and saw that though he got what he knew was wrong in his first effort their remained much he did not know was wrong, With the aid of the mirror he was able to cut off all he could SEE. This left him burred down on the front, top and sides. All he could see. Couldn't see the back so he didn't know to cut it. He looked really wild now. Next he took us to these verses:
Ecc 4:9 Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts.
Ecc 4:10 For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up.
Ecc 4:11 Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm?
Ecc 4:12 And if somebody overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken.
As he shared these verses he called his wife up, sat down in front of her, and passing the clippers to her allowed her to do what he could not - work on the mess he could not see. Not only did she clip the back he had not touched she fixed up the parts he tried to do all alone.
Accountability is lovingly helping others do what they CANNOT do for themselves.
She did not demand the right to fix anything because of the mess he had made, never promoted herself, never demanded the right to because of relationship. She simply came when called, he looked better because of it. She never opened her mouth to tell him he was crazy for doing what he needed her for, she never complained, nor did she ask for anything in return. No promises to do better were given by him, none were required by her.
Many said and continue to say that I fled accountability. That instead of coming clean to them I chose to run and will remain outside of God's will until they believe my repentance and forgive me. I am wrong until they get right????
What I sought was true accountability and have found it. God has surrounded me with men who know me and ALL my sins against God, know themselves, and we have partnered together to do for the one what the other cannot.
God has blessed me with accountability and He uses it greatly in my life. He has this for all of us. If you are struggling with sins and hurts that you seem hopeless to overcome and receive true repentance from the Lord for PLEASE do not give up. Seek the Lord continually and stay humble. If you could overcome it alone you wouldnt be overcome by it would you? God will bless the humble, repentance is a gift from God, not something you can do on your own. God will give it to you - that is His desire. Seek accountablity. Seek love. Seek the Lord, His righteousness and His kingdom.

My heart breaks for those with no true accountability, and for those administering wrong accountability. As it says in those verses we need someone to care for us in times of trouble, defend us from the enemies, minister to us in the deep cold nights of addictions, and give their strenght to make us stronger.
We do not need demands, ultimatums, or to be forgotten and neglected.
We do not need to be asked questions about our curent reading selections, or the lesson we have learned from our sinful desires, or to be forced into detailed accounts of the sins.
We need people to love us completly, answer our calls, return our emails, and come along side us. We do not need put out, put down, or put away.
We need prayed for, held, up, and spoke to.

I have repented of the terrible accountability practices I engaged in and propogated in legalistic foolishness. I blew it, I hurt people, I sinned against God.
I am encouraged as God uses my testimony to help others come into true transparency and begin seeing the light of acoountablity.

Accountability has changed my life - it will change yours also.

Growing in Grace,
Shane